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There's a rat in my kitchen

Have you seen these faces before?

To some it’s an ID parade of the town’s vilest inhabitants, while to others it’s a glamour gallery of nature’s toughest underworld survivors to be admired for their wiliness and vigour.

To a select few, well Dr Ed Jarzembowski at least,they’re something else entirely: lunch.

With Maidstone Council’s pest control contractors currently tackling an “ongoing vermin problem” in the town centre, Maidstone Museum’s head of natural history may just have hit on a solution that could simultaneously vanquish the vermin and beat the credit crunch.

Fresh Maidstone free range squirrel anyone?

“I’d definitely try one” said Dr Jarzembowski, after extolling the virtues of organic squirrel.

And pigeons?

“They’d probably make a lovely stew” he added.

But the nature expert fell short of advocating a town-wide rat feast and said there were simple practical measures - such as not feeding vermin deliberately or throwing food away in parks - that could be implemented to prevent their rise.

It’s a view echoed by Maidstone Pest Control Services, who have added another character to their list of usual suspects - a woman who regularly shares loaves of bread among the pigeons and squirrels in All Saints churchyard.

In August this year the pest control group began investigating an influx of rats in the churchyard and have identified the individual as one of several factors connected to the rise.

Joy Osborne, who fields phone calls for the Maidstone Council-contracted pest controllers, said: “Our technicians have been down to the churchyard to talk to her, but there’s a problem along the whole river.

“We do have bait boxes along the river front. The problem we have is if there’s loads of other things for the rats to eat they won’t eat the bait; they would rather eat bread.

“It’s an ongoing problem” she added, “the problem used to go in the winter but because we don’t get the cold snaps the rats tend to be there all year round.”

The battle against pigeons in the town centre also provided a continuous challenge, she said, adding: “Pigeons are difficult to treat; we don’t want to be firing rounds in the town centre.”

In June 2003 £2,825 was spent on pigeon protection at Maidstone Museum, St Faith’s Street, and £480 used to install anti-perch equipment at the Archbishop’s Palace in Mill Street.

Pigeon netting was subsequently installed at the council’s former offices in London Road in 2004, and a further £2,200 was spent on pigeon wire at Maidstone Town Hall in March of this year.

Figures released by Maidstone Council earlier this year show that 1,706 domestic and private buildings were treated for rats and mice between April 2003 and the end of 2007.

Squirrel Stew

Serves two - three (change servings and units)

Ingredients

One squirrel, cut up

Flour

Salt and pepper

Two and a half tablespoons of butter

Seven cups of boiling water

One teaspoon of thyme

One cup of corn

Three potatoes, cubed

Quarter teaspoon of cayenne

Three onions, sliced

Two cups of canned tomatoes with juice

Directions

Roll the squirrel pieces in flour, salt, and pepper.

Brown in butter.

Add all ingredients, except for tomatoes, to the boiling water, cover, and simmer for one to two hours.

Add the tomatoes and continue to simmer another hour.

Eat.

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