SO, WHAT would our MPs like to do if fate favours them unkindly on May 5?

The Guardian newspaper carried out a survey of the country’s parliamentarians to find out.

Even though he has a journalistic background, we are fairly sure Ashford MP Damian Green had his tongue firmly in his cheek when he said that if he failed to be elected again, he would like to become editor...of The Guardian.

Faversham and Mid Kent MP Hugh Robertson, meanwhile, professed a longing (now officially a Conservative word) to become captain of the England cricket team but “since age and lack of ability make that impossible, I would probably apply for something equally unlikely – such as manager of Chelsea”.

Chatham and Aylesford MP Jonathan Shaw was rather more vague, saying he would do “community works” – a theme picked up by colleague, Derek Wyatt, of Sittingbourne and Sheppey, who would “chair a charity”.

As for Steve Ladyman, who has the slimmest majority of all Kent’s Labour MPs, “anything that doesn’t include working seven days a week”.

* THE Guardian survey also asked what the latest CD or book MPs had bought – and some of the purchases may surprise you.

Damian Green bought The Ramones Anthology, displaying a hitherto unknown interest in the work of one of New York’s finest New Wave bands.

Hugh Robertson was rather more middle of the road, having bought the perhaps appropriately-titled album Hopes and Fears by Keane.

Jonathan Shaw, however, admitted: “I have not bought a CD in ages.”

What not even one featuring Things Can Only Get Better, Labour’s theme tune from 1997?

* JOHN Prescott must know Kent like the back of his hand. He has been down here twice since the campaign got under way and was in north Kent the week before Tony Blair called the election.

Still, it seems he is not always terribly sure where he is. On a visit to Thanet South, he thanked “all the people of Stepford” for coming out. And, presumably, their wives.

We also liked his claim “Labour had promised what it had delivered” during a rabble-rousing speech in Folkestone a week before.

* POLITICIANS need to be fit to endure the marathon that General Election campaigns can often be like. Denis MacShane, Labour’s minister for Europe, who visited Maidstone and Sittingbourne this week to rally support for hopeful Beth Breeze and MP Derek Wyatt, is probably better placed to withstand the rigours more than most.

An enthusiastic skier, he has the distinction of being Westminster’s fastest parliamentarian down the slopes and his one regret about the timing of this election is it has prevented him from running the London marathon.

Still, knocking on all those doors should make up for it.

* POLITICIANS often like to lay claim to connections with the places they are visiting during campaigns.

But for shadow minister James Arbuthnot, in Thanet this week, it really was a case of returning to his roots.

He went to prep school in Broadstairs and his father was the Conservative MP for Dover, albeit a long time ago.